Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cute shoes and flying poo

Claire thinks I need to talk more about me. And my life. Such as it is. She's right in a way. I don't feel like I have much to say. And I don't think that I'm funny. But she says I am. So blame her for this post.

After a nice lunch out with my daughter, we're heading back to the car. And she drops her little purse. In poo. Not just any poo. The mother of all bird droppings. So huge I had to take a double and then a triple take at the pile of gray matter splattered on the sidewalk. So large that I could not believe this came from any bird on this planet. Pterodactyl, maybe. You could use it to sculpt an urn for your great-grandma's ashes and still have some left over. So..I gasp and she immediately picks up her purse and starts flailing madly. Not really sure why. Okay, she probably takes after me. I've been known to go all-akimbo when walking through spider webs or when someone says there's a bug in my hair. But now there are poo droplets soaring through the air, landing on her sleeve, her shirt and hand. I want to help her, I really do, but my fear of being hit keeps me at arm's length. Finally I shout "Freeze!" and she actually listens. Amazing. The child that NEVER listens just did. I guess it's only for important matters involving feces and sparkly accessories. After we get all wiped up and in the car, she starts discussing the pros and cons of hand vs. machine wash of clothing and purses...and I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

Clearance shoes at Gap. A near-death experience with turd. All in a good day.

The winner of the hump day giveaway is morgan ! Visiting her blog about all things book-related reminds me that I need to read more. Not just the dosage information on allergy medicine. I used to be smart. Really. Please send me your snail mail, morgan, and your earrings will be on their way! Thanks for playing, everyone. Ya'all come back next week, 'kay?

See you tomorrow for another fun tutorial!

7 comments:

Claire said...

ah, flying poo. My favorite.

Claire said...

and those shoes are crazy cute.

Morgan said...

hilarious story. I'm sitting here at my work desk (in the quiet library) trying not to giggle! and I'm so excited to win the beautiful earrings!!!! thanks!

Morgan said...

p.s. I really am a smart gal but I can't for the life of me figure out how to send a private message on blogger.

speckledhen said...

no, morgan, i'm the putz who had my e-mail addy hidden on my profile page. sorry. try contacting me now!

Melly said...

You are hilarious. I am laughing out loud. You MUST tell more stories. Thanks for the laugh.

Peptogirl said...

Oh my goodness, that is SO funny. Cute shoes too!